tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6343122535318547716.post564028701477003513..comments2024-02-25T13:25:26.434-08:00Comments on Owl's Farm: The Mother 'HoodOwlfarmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15373358232893937182noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6343122535318547716.post-51216847243405941282009-10-31T16:50:56.299-07:002009-10-31T16:50:56.299-07:00I always look forward to your essays, probably bec...I always look forward to your essays, probably because you say what I believe but are much better at expressing it.<br />I hear people say that it takes two incomes and I wonder. Do people really need a tv in every room, a computer for every member of the family, a car for everyone replaced at least every three years?<br />I grew up in a two parent, three child home, all in a house with 2 bedrooms and 1 bath. Eventually they added a room so that my teenaged brother wasn't sharing a room with two young girls.<br />One car, no clothes dryer, no dishwasher, eventually one tv. We didn't think we were lacking anything.<br />Some families need two incomes to put food on the table, some women just can't stand to be around small children (perhaps they should have thought about this in the first place.) I think most couples just think that they are failures if they don't have all this "stuff". As a culture I wish we could change our priorities.<br />As to who should be the caregiver, I have know couples where the father was better suited to that roll but society denies men the opportunity or at least tries to exact a cost to his self esteem.<br />I won't give up the computer, though. As hard as I try, I just can't spell. Why isn't there a spell check on comments?Martha Zhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15797951661712327698noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6343122535318547716.post-34108758468980646852009-10-23T05:23:43.779-07:002009-10-23T05:23:43.779-07:00Thanks for your usual good insights. I was indeed ...Thanks for your usual good insights. I was indeed fortunate that I had the choice, because I did know women at the time who hadn't that luxury. And although I think women are the ones who're hormonally predisposed to being the ones who stay home when there <i>is</i> a choice, I'm sorry that our culture makes it so hard for fathers to "opt out" of jobs that require what Morris called "useless toil" to do the real work of child care. I still find it difficult to believe that Western culture (and, increasingly, Eastern) devalues child-rearing to such an extent that people have to make these choices in the first place.<br /><br />I'm hoping that with the increase in job-portability, at-home work opportunities, and flex-time, that more parents can begin to raise their own kids. I don't mean to denigrate those who do the bulk of this work today (day-care workers, pre-school teachers, and nannies), but parents really do need to be more involved in bringing up baby than they seem to be around here.Owlfarmerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15373358232893937182noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6343122535318547716.post-55847067246835639442009-10-22T16:05:28.900-07:002009-10-22T16:05:28.900-07:00Carl Larrson's illustration is perfect for thi...Carl Larrson's illustration is perfect for this post. Good choice.<br /><br />I too am of the generation which burned bras, and I have always had mixed feelings about working for a living while my son was young. Having had little choice in the matter of whether to stay home and work (most valuably) and go out into the wider work for external work I experienced many ambivalent feelings about the road I had chosen to take. As a teacher of art, I tinkered with the minds, imaginations and plastic skills sets of young people with great committment and pleasure, while at the smae time trying to reserve some residual energies to teach my son, maintain a smoothly running household for us and organize our lives for maximum effectiveness. It was wvy enervating to try and do justice to demands of both situations. As a result, I was constantly exhausted and operating on two separate gerbil wheels, jumping from one to the other. This is by no means an ideal way to live a life. I ended up hating my paying job.<br />I think you had made the correct choices for yourself. Even though your social security statements may not be as plump as you might wish, you have something far more valuable than mere money to take into your old age - and that is, satisfaction for having successfully mothered and wifed a family, with all the thoughtful labour which goes into those roles, and you have practiced your chosen craft in work of your own selection.<br />That is much to be thanful of, even though it may be raining chez vous. If it makes you feel any better, it is pretty soggy here, chez moi. GEMGEMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11525848943689396086noreply@blogger.com